Got home from practice, beer ready, time for music: “hello Maschine” (Taken with instagram)
I like to read.
Lately I haven’t had much chance to do this, mainly because I think I’m distracted with lots of things that are going on in my life right now. I also feel like I haven’t really veered away from the sort of genre that I’ve been into for the last couple of years. You know the usual, such as Kafka, Grass and Wolf or conspiracy theory fiction (or is it fact?).
Anyways, I came across this book just the other day. It had a hardcover bound in a Blue kind of fabric. Not much else I was able to tell about it. No summary on the back either.. not even the Author’s picture. Just the title was visible. Written in thin Calligraphy it said Bonnie & Clyde. I had heard of them. The story of an outlaw couple whose loyalty to each other lasted until the bitter end… or something like that.
I imagined it being a story full of romance, passionate love making in between robbery action scenes and manslaughter…. sounds entertaining.
I picked it up and read the first page. I’m the kind of reader where the first page is important. It tells me whether I want to put in the effort to read the entire Book. Lately, I haven’t even had the motivation to pick up any book at all.
In this case I thought that reading the first page is worth it to find out what the hell this story is even about. I’ve heard of Bonnie & Clyde and I know that there are lots of historical references to the real duo.
Although after reading this first page I am not any closer to figuring out what is even going on in this story, it was interesting enough for me to pick up and take with me. I’m at that funny point, and all you readers with a good book know what I’m talking about, where whenever I’m not reading further, I think about what is going to happen next… and that’s exciting to me.
I can’t wait to read on.
Every time I walk the streets of Berlin a sort of cockiness and strut emerges from my personality. I feel comfortable on so many different levels. As if I had lived with adopted parents all my life and here I found my birth mother. It somehow feels right. I belong. The dirt, the noise, the hectic crowds, the central nervous system of public transportation. I feel like I finally blend, as if I can melt into the fabric of this city.
I am grateful for a handful of people that have accompanied me on this journey. Sven, my ultimate tour guide to the underworld. More important than that, a truly awesome individual. I’m glad he turned out to be the person that he is today.
And Marit. Because of her I have completely reset some of my thought processes and restarted my motivational engine. She understands some of the fundamental issues I’m currently facing and our conversations we had were priceless.
I feel that I can be me in this city.
There are many factors of why I want to move up north. I’d be closer to everything. Certain developments that are still too unpredictable to draw any firm conclusions from have emerged. The intrigue is huge and I have to be careful. I’m not sure if I’m just blinded by the adrenaline currently rushing through my body.
I have to say that the human connections I continuously make in Berlin keep my mind occupied long after I leave. This second trip just confirmed what I felt in the first one just four weeks earlier. I have to keep steering into that direction.
Hopefully a Blog Entry in the near future, will be about a housewarming party.
This is a sample of my new track that represents everything I sacrificed to move from the US to Germany. I’m pretty much done and I’m already working on new projects.
I’ve been hammering away at this new track for the last few days. So far the file name is “Death of a Rose” but I’m not quite sure whether it will stick. I does evoke some emotional turmoil inside me and that of course is the main point of why I produce music. If I can paint myself pictures with sound, then I am happy and I feel I did something right.
I think I can be completely finished with this one by next week… the layout is finished now it’s just about small auditory cosmetics.
Music is now more than ever a release for me, and I’m just realizing this. I mean, I knew that this was an outlet for me but I feel physically better after writing some music.
I was feeling a bit stressed. Settling here is taking longer than expected and My new release Para81 was released on a different label name, which was the distributor’s fault. I already wrote a stern note to customer service. UPDATE: re-release on the third week of march.
But still, although I know that everything will be fixed eventually, because it always does, I needed to take the edge off and the only way I can do that around here at the moment is to get down on some productions… and write endlessly long run on sentences in this blog.
Hello you. If you’re reading this then according to the average statistic you are one of ten people. Congratulations!
Greetings from the Alps
Just like when I was spending my last 3 weeks in San Diego before I left the U.S., I am again in some sort of Limbo. I am getting into the rhythm of living here in Germany but I haven’t really arrived. I’m doing all my registrations and paper work from this beautiful tiny village called Lechbruck am See. When I step out in to the back yard from my room I see rolling hills, then thick forests and behind that the Alps. It’s stunning. It feels dreamy. It is not how I know and remember this country. I had brief feelings of home coming, but mainly I feel as if I have arrived at a new place. I wonder if going to Berlin is going to make it all kick in so I can get it over with and move on with my new life.
All to often I have nothing to keep me busy and I sit in front of facebook or something else computer related. In those cases I feel as if I’m sitting in California again, in my room on the computer. I almost feel like I could break my staring contest with the Monitor and turn around and see one of my cats coming up wanting to get pet. Or if I stay on for too long I feel like Ashley is sitting in the living room waiting for me to get off so we can watch a movie.
But None of that is happening. TV also hasn’t captivated me so far. I need an outlet. I found a local Handball team and that brings back feelings of comfort. Practice is like a warm bath and soft blanket all wrapped in one. I want to concentrate more on music as well, though I’m easily distracted. I feel like I need to spend my time finding work instead of spending my time working on music. Producing with guilt in the back of my head is not a very constructive way to express myself.
Again I am waiting for yet another Limbo-phase to pass so I can move on already.
It is time.